Speak Your Husband’s Language
I speak about communicating effectively with your mate in my book “How To Love A Muslim Man:100 Interviews with 100 Muslim Men“, because the number one reason for tension in the marriage is miscommunication or the lack there of. We’re not communicating effectively with our spouses and that’s simply because we don’t know who they are or what language they speak.
Here is a quick personality profile to analyze your mate, bridge your communication gap, and strengthen your bond by giving him what he needs the most, your understanding.
As described by Life Coach extraordinaire Tony Robinns:
The Four Personality Types (most people have a combination of any of these four, but usually one is more dominating than the others).
The Shark – Goal oriented.
The business man. He’s about the bottom line. The shark wants to know how much money he will make if a deal goes good. He’s a natural born leader, a sharp dresser and usually very organized. When dealing with your shark, don’t talk about feelings or build up your punch line to a story.
Tell him in the beginning what you want to say exactly. He operates at best like this. He should be leading a team or in charge of projects. he will most likely get the job done. Getting the best out of your “shark” means letting him lead and encouraging him to spare head projects around the house and outside of the home to thrive.
The Whale is about the fun environment. He loves the connection to people and loves to be in an atmosphere that is loving, fun, creative, and stimulating. He loves office parties, and traveling the world because it’s just one big pool of meeting new people and stimulating his creativity. Whales usually where creative clothing, loud colors and unique accessories.
They are expressive and take inner feeling very seriously. When dealing with your “whale” make sure to express your feelings. He needs to be around people. Don’t restrict him, he will suffocate. Allow him time for personal space. He needs it. When communicating with him don’t leave out your feelings. He loves the connection between you the most.
The urchent is information oriented. He thrives off of information. He is very detailed and most of the time on time. He has no tolerance for disorganization or tardiness. The urchent needs to know the facts.
Many urchents are perfectionist and don’t respond to spontaneity very well. They need to plan ahead and have a back up plan. when dealing with your “urchent” try to stay on schedule. If he has a back up plan, make 2 or 3 more back up plans. Life won’t always go as we plan it which is why it’s important to be understanding and patient when life throw’s him a curve ball.
Be ready to pick him up from disappointments that don’t go according to plan. Make sure to model flexibility and help him to see how easy it can be to adjust to those curve balls. Also most likely you will be the one to spice it, plan something nice once in a while to break the monotony. He’ll appreciate that, but it’s just as important to get back on schedule.
The dolphin is a helper, humanitarian, philanthropist. He just wants to save lives, help people, make dramatic improvement in the lives of others. Don’t talk about money or the bottom line, he doesn’t want to hear about information and details, he just wants to know how to help, how to cure, how to heal, and how to solve the humanistic needs.
When dealing with your “Dolphin” make sure he is involved in as much volunteering, movements, live saving projects. This will light his world.
For more tips on how to build a better relationship with your spouse visit amazon.com on August 25, 2012 for the release of my book “How To Love A Muslim Man:100 Interviews with 100 Muslim Men.”
Click here to read the next post in this series, 100 Muslim Men Spoke.